If you want something bad enough, you have to work for it.
When I left for my training, my teacher's manual hadn't arrived yet. I figured it wasn't such a big deal, according to the website, I could buy it at the shop when I arrived. Upon arrival, I learned that they had run out of them, and wouldn't be getting any more in until I was gone. So I opted for the second best option, the ebook copy. I paid $26, and low and behold, it wouldn't download onto my iPad.
Meanwhile, we're learning at least 5 poses a day, the sanskrit names, the proper alignment, the cues, and one or two assists per pose. By day three, I was in full panic mode. I felt like I was falling further and further behind, and couldn't see a way out. Since deciding I wanted to do teacher training a year ago, my desire to teach yoga has just grown, and with it, my desire to do a good job. I felt like this was my opportunity to learn everything I need and it was slipping away and there was nothing I could do about it.
But as it always does, the universe prevailed. I have a book of daily meditations. Sometimes they resonate with me, and sometimes they don't. On this particular day, I got exactly the message I needed.
"Sometimes, the road ahead is blocked, but clearing the way becomes part of our journey. Learn to tell when it's time to let go, to surrender, to search for another road, a different path, another dream. But also learn to tell when it's time to move forward, through obstacles if need be, because the dream is electric, charged by Divine energy and love."
I read and reread that passage over and over. This is my absolute dream. There are parts of this training that aren't exactly what I was expecting. If I could, there are certainly things I would change, and if I let them, they get under my skin. But I just have to remember to take a deep breath and go with the journey. Take it as it comes because it is all important. If I want this bad enough, and I know I do, it will all work out. With or without the manual, I will become a teacher, and I know I will do a good job because I won't settle for anything less. If I have to work extra hard to keep up, I will do it. And I will be better for it in the end.
Everything that happens, happens for a reason. All the obstacles I encounter are there to teach me something. And though it may be hard to see the purpose at first, eventually I will know why, and I will be eternally thankful for each and every one of them.