I find when I'm at home, the world seems so big. Far away places seem as though they aren't even part of the same world. But travelling shows you how small the world really is. I can be surfing in Portugal one day, and if I wanted to (though I don't, sorry mom) I could be back in Canada tomorrow.
When I look up at the sky, no matter where on earth I am, I'm always looking at the same sun. The same moon. Grass smells the same, wind feels the same. We all share these things. Every one of us.
People are the same everywhere too. They may speak a different language, have a different colour of skin and a different way of dressing, but they are the same. Elderly couples, young families, teenage boys with their pants around their knees. Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends, lovers. Humans.
With this realization comes the knowledge that I belong everywhere. I may speak a different language, have a different colour skin, or dress differently. I may sometimes feel as though I am out of place. But I'm not. I belong everywhere. There are people like me everywhere. In every country in the world is someone that would like to be my friend and me theirs.
We are all citizens of this earth. Suddenly, these places don't seem so foreign. Suddenly, it seems impossible to feel homesick. How could I? I am home.
Thursday, 15 May 2014
Monday, 5 May 2014
Backpacking Community
I love the backpackers community. Living in a hostel these past few weeks, I have met so many backpackers. People just like me. Last minute planners, free spirited people who just want to see the world. All of it.
The backpacker community looks out for each other. We all know what it's like to get lonely on the road. We help each other through it. It's amazing the bonds you form with people after only spending a couple days with them.
The backpacker community shares. Conversations revolve around "Where are you headed next?" "You have to see this!" "This hostel is amazing and you have to eat at this restaurant." We want everyone to have the great experiences we had. But we also understand that we're all on our own journey. No one tries to force anything on you. Opinions, recommendations, all simply there for you if you wish to engage.
I have had so many interesting conversations with so many interesting people. All of us coming from a different place, but all with this insatiable wanderlust that ties us together. Late night discussions about spirituality, yoga, beer, our pasts, our futures.
But when we part ways, the thing I love most, is that backpackers never say goodbye. It's only ever "See you again." We exchange information, or maybe we don't, but we are part of a community. We might meet up again in a hostel elsewhere. It might be next week, next month, who knows, maybe even in a few years. Maybe I will stay with you when I travel another time. Or maybe, as is probably most often the case, we never will see each other again. But we got exactly what we needed from each other in the time we were together.
I feel so incredibly privileged to be a part of such an amazing community. I feel somehow tied to every backpacker around the world. We may never meet, but we know each other exists. Every hostel you ever stay in, you can be sure there will be someone there that you can learn from, share with, and who will forever hold a little place in your heart.
The backpacker community looks out for each other. We all know what it's like to get lonely on the road. We help each other through it. It's amazing the bonds you form with people after only spending a couple days with them.
The backpacker community shares. Conversations revolve around "Where are you headed next?" "You have to see this!" "This hostel is amazing and you have to eat at this restaurant." We want everyone to have the great experiences we had. But we also understand that we're all on our own journey. No one tries to force anything on you. Opinions, recommendations, all simply there for you if you wish to engage.
I have had so many interesting conversations with so many interesting people. All of us coming from a different place, but all with this insatiable wanderlust that ties us together. Late night discussions about spirituality, yoga, beer, our pasts, our futures.
But when we part ways, the thing I love most, is that backpackers never say goodbye. It's only ever "See you again." We exchange information, or maybe we don't, but we are part of a community. We might meet up again in a hostel elsewhere. It might be next week, next month, who knows, maybe even in a few years. Maybe I will stay with you when I travel another time. Or maybe, as is probably most often the case, we never will see each other again. But we got exactly what we needed from each other in the time we were together.
I feel so incredibly privileged to be a part of such an amazing community. I feel somehow tied to every backpacker around the world. We may never meet, but we know each other exists. Every hostel you ever stay in, you can be sure there will be someone there that you can learn from, share with, and who will forever hold a little place in your heart.
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
Love and Lungs
Mourning a relationship is a strange feeling. It's hard to mourn an intangible thing. You can't reach out and touch a relationship, yet when it's gone, it feels like a physical thing has left your life.
It feeds on love. When the love is abundant and pure, the relationship is like full, healthy, pink lungs. Inhaling and exhaling. Providing the rest of the body with the energy it needs to survive. It receives the love circulates it, basks in it, and radiates it outwards.
But sometimes, even with all the love, other, negative things can start to build up. Like the beginnings of cancer on healthy lungs. Jealousy, envy, insecurity. Slowly but surely, diminishing the efficiency. Suddenly, the love doesn't flow so freely any more. It is obstructed.
And other times, there simply isn't enough love to keep the relationship healthy. It begins to suffocate and wither. Whether the love is diminishing from one side or both. Eventually, the lungs will stop There's nothing left to breathe.
But even healthy lungs can suddenly stop. For no apparent reason. It can't be explained. They just collapse.
Whether there have been signs, a time to prepare, or the relationship just ends abruptly, leaving you wondering what on earth went wrong, it hurts either way. It may have been a defective relationship, but it was a part of you. A living, breathing, part of your life. And when it's gone. There is a hole in your chest. Where you used to feel light and love, you now feel empty.
Eventually, the space will grow smaller and smaller. The pain will lessen with everyday that passes. But it seems as though there will always be a little hole there. A little reminder of what once lived there.
One day, a new relationship will take it's place. New lungs will develop. With every inhale, growing stronger. You will remember what it's like to be filled with love and light. Hopefully the new even greater than the old. But you will always have the scar. The reminder of what was wrong. Helping you to truely appreciate the healthy, full, pink lungs.
It feeds on love. When the love is abundant and pure, the relationship is like full, healthy, pink lungs. Inhaling and exhaling. Providing the rest of the body with the energy it needs to survive. It receives the love circulates it, basks in it, and radiates it outwards.
But sometimes, even with all the love, other, negative things can start to build up. Like the beginnings of cancer on healthy lungs. Jealousy, envy, insecurity. Slowly but surely, diminishing the efficiency. Suddenly, the love doesn't flow so freely any more. It is obstructed.
And other times, there simply isn't enough love to keep the relationship healthy. It begins to suffocate and wither. Whether the love is diminishing from one side or both. Eventually, the lungs will stop There's nothing left to breathe.
But even healthy lungs can suddenly stop. For no apparent reason. It can't be explained. They just collapse.
Whether there have been signs, a time to prepare, or the relationship just ends abruptly, leaving you wondering what on earth went wrong, it hurts either way. It may have been a defective relationship, but it was a part of you. A living, breathing, part of your life. And when it's gone. There is a hole in your chest. Where you used to feel light and love, you now feel empty.
Eventually, the space will grow smaller and smaller. The pain will lessen with everyday that passes. But it seems as though there will always be a little hole there. A little reminder of what once lived there.
One day, a new relationship will take it's place. New lungs will develop. With every inhale, growing stronger. You will remember what it's like to be filled with love and light. Hopefully the new even greater than the old. But you will always have the scar. The reminder of what was wrong. Helping you to truely appreciate the healthy, full, pink lungs.
Tuesday, 22 April 2014
Here and Now
Every once and a while, I get this feeling of utter calmness. I feel in that particular moment, I am exactly where I'm meant to be. It feels so peaceful, I'm almost afraid to move, lest I break the spell.
I have been getting that feeling more and more lately. As I lay on a rooftop in Spain, listening to music, in the company of an American guy and a Dutch girl. No one talking. All of us just sharing the space. Each of us doing our own thing, but together. Each of us with our own past. Each of us with our own story that lead us here, to this place. Together.
I spent a good deal of energy in the last three weeks trying to focus on the present. We would meditate for half an hour every morning, and it never came easily to me. I had so much trouble trying not to think about the past, or imagine the future. But then all of a sudden, when I'm not even trying, I find these moments of such calm. I don't have to try to focus on the present, it just happens. I don't care about the past. It doesn't matter what happens in the future. The present just envelopes me. Like the warmth of the sun on your skin, or a cozy blanket on a cold day.
I think that is what is so addictive about travel. At times, you feel the most intense loneliness. It can be a weird feeling, being so far from anyone who knows your past, or who has known you for longer than a few days. But then, all of a sudden, without even realizing it was happening, you are laying on a rooftop in Spain, with two people who don't know your past, who have only known you for a few days, and you feel so incredibly at home. There is no where on earth you would rather be, and no one on earth you would rather be sharing space with. And in that present moment, nothing else matters.
I have been getting that feeling more and more lately. As I lay on a rooftop in Spain, listening to music, in the company of an American guy and a Dutch girl. No one talking. All of us just sharing the space. Each of us doing our own thing, but together. Each of us with our own past. Each of us with our own story that lead us here, to this place. Together.
I spent a good deal of energy in the last three weeks trying to focus on the present. We would meditate for half an hour every morning, and it never came easily to me. I had so much trouble trying not to think about the past, or imagine the future. But then all of a sudden, when I'm not even trying, I find these moments of such calm. I don't have to try to focus on the present, it just happens. I don't care about the past. It doesn't matter what happens in the future. The present just envelopes me. Like the warmth of the sun on your skin, or a cozy blanket on a cold day.
I think that is what is so addictive about travel. At times, you feel the most intense loneliness. It can be a weird feeling, being so far from anyone who knows your past, or who has known you for longer than a few days. But then, all of a sudden, without even realizing it was happening, you are laying on a rooftop in Spain, with two people who don't know your past, who have only known you for a few days, and you feel so incredibly at home. There is no where on earth you would rather be, and no one on earth you would rather be sharing space with. And in that present moment, nothing else matters.
Monday, 21 April 2014
Travelling and Falling in Love
Travelling is conducive to love. Quite often, people fall in love with each other while abroad. They are experiencing amazing things together, and often living together as well. It makes perfect sense. Isn't that the whole idea behind honeymoons? Travelling is romantic.
But me? I fall in love with places. I fall in love with the smell of a place. The aroma of food, of fresh ocean air, I have even been known to fall in love with the smell of burning garbage. I fall in love with the way the ground feels under my feet, be it concrete, cobblestone, gravel, or mud. I find myself imagining what it would be like to spend my life in this city or town. I imagine what it would feel like to walk to and from work. To go on a vacation, and dream of calling this place home. I fall in love with the feeling of a place. Some places are laid back, some busy, some quiet. I love them all. I want to experience them all. And not in the travellers sense, spending a few days here, a few days there. I want to live there. I want to find the little local coffee shops that sell the best coffee, but tourists don't know about. I want to learn the local language and converse with the same people every day.
This is why, when offered a week long trial run, teaching yoga at a hostel in Seville, Spain, I jumped at the opportunity. If all goes well, I will be spending the next six weeks here. Living here. Teaching yoga to travellers. Of course it won't be enough time to learn the local language. And the walk to work consists of a flight of stairs. But for a period longer than a few days, I get to call Seville home. Sometimes, a period longer than a few days is all you need to fall head over heels.
But me? I fall in love with places. I fall in love with the smell of a place. The aroma of food, of fresh ocean air, I have even been known to fall in love with the smell of burning garbage. I fall in love with the way the ground feels under my feet, be it concrete, cobblestone, gravel, or mud. I find myself imagining what it would be like to spend my life in this city or town. I imagine what it would feel like to walk to and from work. To go on a vacation, and dream of calling this place home. I fall in love with the feeling of a place. Some places are laid back, some busy, some quiet. I love them all. I want to experience them all. And not in the travellers sense, spending a few days here, a few days there. I want to live there. I want to find the little local coffee shops that sell the best coffee, but tourists don't know about. I want to learn the local language and converse with the same people every day.
This is why, when offered a week long trial run, teaching yoga at a hostel in Seville, Spain, I jumped at the opportunity. If all goes well, I will be spending the next six weeks here. Living here. Teaching yoga to travellers. Of course it won't be enough time to learn the local language. And the walk to work consists of a flight of stairs. But for a period longer than a few days, I get to call Seville home. Sometimes, a period longer than a few days is all you need to fall head over heels.
Monday, 14 April 2014
The Eye Contact Phobia
Today was my favourite day of training so far, and quite possibly one of my favourite days of my life.
We finished up with our last anatomy session, and with that came a strange realization. This is almost over. Soon, we'll all be parting ways. Some of us back home, back to work. Some of us on to the next adventure. But none of us together. In a few days, this amazing family we have built will be saying goodbye.
After the anatomy session was over, our instructor invited us to stand in two lines, facing each other. We were then instructed to look into the eyes of the person opposite us for 5 breaths, and read what their eyes were saying. Then, one line would shift, and you would find yourself reading a new set of eyes. At first, it was a little awkward. We would giggle and shift our gaze. But it seemed odd to me. It was only 5 breaths. Why was it so difficult to hold eye contact for 5 breaths with these people I have become so intimate with in the last two weeks? So, as I have done so many times in this training so far, I welcomed the discomfort. I opened my eyes, held my gaze steady, and breathed. By the time we got to the end of the line, I was overcome with emotion. Suddenly, I felt that I knew these women (and man), on such a deeper level than I had before that exercise. And no words were exchanged. But our souls had spoken to each other. And that was such a deeper connection than any words can make.
Eye contact is so under rated in society today. It's so strange how people avoid it. They look anywhere but your eyes. Strangers will stare at the floor for an entire hour long bus ride if it means they don't have to look into another person's eyes. But when we get past this strange phobia and really take a minute to look into another person's eyes, it is truly amazing the things you see. Things that words alone can not express. It's a language of its own. The language that all living things can "speak".
I challenge you to try it. Next time you're talking to someone, resist the urge to look away. Look into their eyes. What is their soul telling you?
We finished up with our last anatomy session, and with that came a strange realization. This is almost over. Soon, we'll all be parting ways. Some of us back home, back to work. Some of us on to the next adventure. But none of us together. In a few days, this amazing family we have built will be saying goodbye.
After the anatomy session was over, our instructor invited us to stand in two lines, facing each other. We were then instructed to look into the eyes of the person opposite us for 5 breaths, and read what their eyes were saying. Then, one line would shift, and you would find yourself reading a new set of eyes. At first, it was a little awkward. We would giggle and shift our gaze. But it seemed odd to me. It was only 5 breaths. Why was it so difficult to hold eye contact for 5 breaths with these people I have become so intimate with in the last two weeks? So, as I have done so many times in this training so far, I welcomed the discomfort. I opened my eyes, held my gaze steady, and breathed. By the time we got to the end of the line, I was overcome with emotion. Suddenly, I felt that I knew these women (and man), on such a deeper level than I had before that exercise. And no words were exchanged. But our souls had spoken to each other. And that was such a deeper connection than any words can make.
Eye contact is so under rated in society today. It's so strange how people avoid it. They look anywhere but your eyes. Strangers will stare at the floor for an entire hour long bus ride if it means they don't have to look into another person's eyes. But when we get past this strange phobia and really take a minute to look into another person's eyes, it is truly amazing the things you see. Things that words alone can not express. It's a language of its own. The language that all living things can "speak".
I challenge you to try it. Next time you're talking to someone, resist the urge to look away. Look into their eyes. What is their soul telling you?
Monday, 7 April 2014
Family Everywhere
It's not very often that you know while something is happening that it is one of the most important experiences of your life. But when it happens, you want to milk every second.
I've been at my yoga teacher training now for 10 days. I can not believe it has only been 10 days. It feels like it's been at least a month. I feel like a completely different person than I was 10 days ago when I first arrived in this unfamiliar place, surrounded by unfamiliar people. This place is my home now, and these people my family.
We start off every morning with a half hour of meditation from 7-7:30, followed by two and a half hours of yoga practice. For the first few days, I would wake up and think, "I just have to make it to 10:00. After that, I just have to sit and listen to lecture. I just have to make it through meditation and practice."
But slowly, without me even noticing, practice and meditation became my favourite part of the day. I look forward to finding out what the theme of the practice will be every day. Although it can be really difficult sometimes when my muscles are screaming at me to get out of a pose and my determination is screaming at me to stay in it, I absolutely love it. I love the mind over matter battle.
I also can not believe how much I have learned in 10 short days. Three days ago, we had to teach for the first time. Ten minutes of some variation of sun salutations. I didn't even plan anything because I thought ten minutes was trivial. Of course I could teach ten minutes. I got through five and I drew a blank. Suddenly I couldn't for the life of me think of a yoga pose. Of all the hundreds of classes and thousands of times I have been cued into a pose in my life, I couldn't think of one. Today, I taught a half hour. And it was easy! How did that happen in three days!?
I remember the judgements I had when I first got here. Someone would say something and I would immediately think "Well I don't like that person. I'll be avoiding them." And for the first few days, I did. Every time a person I decided I didn't like would speak, I would get annoyed. And somehow, in the last few days, that has changed too. All of a sudden I realized that getting annoyed with someone for the person they were was hurting them and me. You can feel it when someone doesn't like you. You can feel the negative energy. And for what purpose? So I decided to seek out these people and talk to them. And much to my surprise, it turns out I do like them! Every single person here is kind hearted and has something to offer me.
I know that when I leave here and return to regular life, it's going to be much harder to live like this. I know that it won't take long for my old habits to creep back. But at least I have the awareness now that I can do it. I can get past these immediate judgements I make and be much happier on the other side. Although it may take time and a lot of effort to break these habits I've had for my whole life, awareness that I can is the first step.
I'm one third of the way through my training and I've learned so much. I've learned so much about being a yoga teacher, but more than that, I've learned so much about myself. I truly can not wait to see what the next two weeks will teach me. I love this thing we call life.
I've been at my yoga teacher training now for 10 days. I can not believe it has only been 10 days. It feels like it's been at least a month. I feel like a completely different person than I was 10 days ago when I first arrived in this unfamiliar place, surrounded by unfamiliar people. This place is my home now, and these people my family.
We start off every morning with a half hour of meditation from 7-7:30, followed by two and a half hours of yoga practice. For the first few days, I would wake up and think, "I just have to make it to 10:00. After that, I just have to sit and listen to lecture. I just have to make it through meditation and practice."
But slowly, without me even noticing, practice and meditation became my favourite part of the day. I look forward to finding out what the theme of the practice will be every day. Although it can be really difficult sometimes when my muscles are screaming at me to get out of a pose and my determination is screaming at me to stay in it, I absolutely love it. I love the mind over matter battle.
I also can not believe how much I have learned in 10 short days. Three days ago, we had to teach for the first time. Ten minutes of some variation of sun salutations. I didn't even plan anything because I thought ten minutes was trivial. Of course I could teach ten minutes. I got through five and I drew a blank. Suddenly I couldn't for the life of me think of a yoga pose. Of all the hundreds of classes and thousands of times I have been cued into a pose in my life, I couldn't think of one. Today, I taught a half hour. And it was easy! How did that happen in three days!?
I remember the judgements I had when I first got here. Someone would say something and I would immediately think "Well I don't like that person. I'll be avoiding them." And for the first few days, I did. Every time a person I decided I didn't like would speak, I would get annoyed. And somehow, in the last few days, that has changed too. All of a sudden I realized that getting annoyed with someone for the person they were was hurting them and me. You can feel it when someone doesn't like you. You can feel the negative energy. And for what purpose? So I decided to seek out these people and talk to them. And much to my surprise, it turns out I do like them! Every single person here is kind hearted and has something to offer me.
I know that when I leave here and return to regular life, it's going to be much harder to live like this. I know that it won't take long for my old habits to creep back. But at least I have the awareness now that I can do it. I can get past these immediate judgements I make and be much happier on the other side. Although it may take time and a lot of effort to break these habits I've had for my whole life, awareness that I can is the first step.
I'm one third of the way through my training and I've learned so much. I've learned so much about being a yoga teacher, but more than that, I've learned so much about myself. I truly can not wait to see what the next two weeks will teach me. I love this thing we call life.
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